


We'll Do Better

by UnderscoreJay



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, F/M, Medication, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Has Anxiety, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 03:23:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderscoreJay/pseuds/UnderscoreJay
Summary: Peter forgets to take his anxiety medication and has an anxiety attack





	We'll Do Better

**Author's Note:**

> Tw for anxiety attacks!!! This isn't my best work but I'm trying something new by writing an MCU fic. I love the idea of an AU where Peter has anxiety, I'll probably write more for it later!!! XO

"Alright everyone, ten minutes left!"

Peter stared down at his calculus quiz paper, trying to focus on at least one thing other than his racing heartbeat. His vision was starting to blur, causing more panic to set in. 

_ What the hell this can't be happening oh God why is this happening now why now why in front of everyone what's happening I thought I took my meds today oh no I didn't take my meds fuck please stop everything is scary nonononono _

His chest was tight. There was no time to hit pause on an anxiety attack no matter how hard he tried. Breathing was becoming more and more unsteady and shallow by the second. Peter looked around his classroom, trying to find a sense of grounding but everything was too fuzzy and too dark around the edges to have any sense of comfort. He raised a shaky hand.

"Yes Parker?" Mr. Anderson said from his desk.

"C-can I use the-the bathroom?" Peter asked in a wavering tone.

"Yeah just take the pass and flip over your paper," the teacher replied.

Peter quickly did what he was told and proceeded to run through the hall to the furthest away boy's bathroom. He pulled out his phone and tapped the contact  **_MJ <3 _ ** .

**Peter: Hey mert me outside by the fym? Anziety attacj**

**MJ: Got it, I'm omw**

Peter shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out to the back door of the gym, trying not to focus on how the lockers on either side of him were getting closer and darker. 

Michelle jumped off the bleachers and ran towards Peter. Peter held her tightly, desperately trying to feel some sort of stability. She kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back softly. 

"I'm-I'm sorry I forgot to take my meds and-and-" 

"Shhh it's okay you don't have to explain yourself it's ok," MJ interrupted quietly. Peter broke out into tears and clung onto his girlfriend even tighter. She sighed and loosened her hold on him, pulling him off gently but still holding Peter's shoulders. "Hey, can you look at me? As much as I wanna hold you and never let go, you gotta breathe first. Can you breathe with me?"

Michelle started making long, exaggerated breaths to demonstrate. Peter was struggling for air initially but his breath was gradually steadying as he followed her. After a few minutes, he was able to breathe evenly. Michelle wiped the tears out of his face and pulled him in for another hug. The two held each other close but after a short amount of time, Peter let go and looked up at Michelle with his bloodshot eyes. 

"You don't look at me as any less because of this, right?"

Michelle furrowed her eyebrows, not because she was confused on an answer but because she was confused on why Peter even felt the need to ask. "Of course not dummy, you're literally the bravest and strongest person I know. Between the anxiety attacks and all the hero stuff you deal with you're a freaking badass. No matter how rough things get sometimes I don't see you as any less of a man or any less of a hero."

Peter kissed her impulsively. "I uh, I love you. Thanks for putting up with me."

She smiled softly, trying to hide the fact that her heart was really soaring. The two leaned in for another kiss, this time a bit longer. "I love you too. Now we should probably get back to class because I'm pretty sure both of our teachers think something's up."

"Y-yeah you're right."

"See you later Peter."

The two parted ways, Peter heading back into his classroom after 15 minutes. All heads turned to face him as he walked into the door.

"Where in the world were you Parker!?" his teacher exclaimed.

"Can we uh, talk a little more privately?" Peter asked sheepishly.

"Yeah sure," Mr. Anderson said with a sigh. "You better have a really good reason for this though."

Peter approached his teacher's desk and leaned in. "I forgot to-to take my anxiety meds this morning so I uh, had an anxiety attack and threw up in the bathroom, which is why I took so long." Peter lied about throwing up but he doubted that his teacher would let him go to the nurse if he didn't add something physically wrong into the situation. 

Mr. Anderson pulled out a yellow slip, wrote a couple things on it, and handed it over to Peter. "Go to the nurse, you can take your stuff."

Peter took the slip and smiled nervously at his teacher. He swiftly left the classroom for the second time and headed towards the nurse's office.

As he entered, the familiar uncomfortably clean scent welcomed him. A kid with a bag of ice pressed on his right cheek stared from the waiting seats. 

"She's in the middle of checking on the girl in the other room, she'll be out in a second," the boy informed Peter. Peter sat down next to the boy, leaving one seat between them. 

"So what's your deal?" the boy asked bluntly.

"Uh, I forgot to take my meds so I wasn't feeling good," Peter replied hesitantly. "What's your deal?" 

"Some dick at PE punched me, it's not that big of a deal though."

"What do you mean 'not that big of a deal'? Bullying sucks man, don't-"

"Miles?" 

The kid Peter had met looked up. "Yeah?"

A brunette woman in lavender scrubs approached the two. "I called your mom so she knows what happened, you have to go back to class though sweetie."

Miles sighed and nodded. He stood up and looked at Peter. "I'm Miles by the way, Miles Morales. I'm a freshman. See you around sometime maybe."

"Peter Parker, I'm a junior. And yeah, see you around," Peter replied with a slight smile. Miles threw up a peace sign and walked out. 

"It's been a while Peter," Nurse Kim said to the pale boy with red-rimmed eyes in front of her. Before Peter was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and got medicated, he would come into the nurse's office on an almost weekly basis. Around the time when his Uncle Ben died and he was first starting out as Spiderman, maintaining good mental health was a struggle. Between grief as well as the stress of responsibilities and change, everything got especially overwhelming. Peter was always a nervous kid but it was constantly dismissed as something he'd outgrow; that was until Peter came home crying to Aunt Mayin the middle of freshman year that something was wrong with him and he couldn't keep living the way he was. After getting the help he needed, the panic settled and random freak-outs in school were less frequent. The medication didn't solve all of his problems, but thanks to them, Peter hadn't had an anxiety attack in over a month (and over a year in school). 

"Y-yeah, you know the drill, same thing as always. I've been on meds so it doesn't happen as much but I still have my moments" Peter replied, laughing nervously. "I also threw up so I think I need to go home?" 

"Alright, I need to take your temperature and ask you a few questions and then call your mo-I mean aunt and then everything will be sorted out. Sounds good?"

Peter tried to ignore the slip-up she made. It was a pretty common mistake considering it was pretty common for people to have a mom and dad but it was still always a tiny jab that reminded him of his parents' death. As a little kid, he would start crying when strangers would mention his parents but that was something he outgrew pretty quickly. Even though it's been years, the pain never completely goes away. 

After Nurse Kim asked some questions about Peter's vomit and then went through all the other procedures necessary, Peter grabbed his backpack and headed out to the front office. As he entered, Peter was practically tackled into a hug by a very concerned Aunt May. 

"Oh my gosh Peter sweetie are okay? What happened? Nurse Kim told me you had an anxiety attack, when? Why?" she interrogated in the middle of the office.

"Uh, May, we're kind of still here? I'll explain in the car? This is a little embarrassing," Peter whispered. 

May's face turned a bit red in tint and she quickly let go of Peter. "Sorry about that sweetheart! We can go home now though, I already signed you out."

Peter eagerly walked off of campus with his aunt and sunk into the passenger seat of May's jeep. "So I forgot to take my meds today and then I had an anxiety attack in the middle of a test and I know I need to take my meds, it was just an accident before you say anything."

May started the car and let out a sigh. After a bit of driving, she collected her thoughts on what to say. "Okay Peter, I trust you so I won't bug you all the time about it but I'm gonna start reminding you to take your pills in the morning at least? Is that okay? I don't wanna be overbearing but at the same time you really need to take your pills, you need them to be okay and-"

" _ Please  _ don't say that I need them to be okay?! You have no idea how much it sucks to never think you're normal on your own because you need to take pills to feel like a regular person! I know I need them but you don't have to remind me, okay? Some day I'll be able to live without them but I know that but that isn't any time soon and it doesn't feel great to know if you couldn't figure that out!" 

Peter was a lot louder than he intended. He's never usually been one to snap at people quickly, especially not his aunt, but today really was a rough one for him. He was so caught up in his own frustrated ramblings that he didn't even realize that May already parked across from their apartment. She was looking at him, speechless, tears filling her eyes. 

"I'm sorry, I… today just hasn't been great and it's not your fault and you don't deserve to be yelled at for my mistakes. I know you didn't mean it that way, it's not your fault you didn't know. I'm really sorry," Peter let out, squeezing his eyes shut. 

"It's okay, I'm sorry I said that. I really didn't mean it that way Peter. We'll do better on being on the same page so I can understand what helps you. Sounds like a good plan?" 

"Yeah, thanks May. I don't say it enough but you mean so much to me, you have no idea."

The two hopped out of May's car and made their way to their apartment, May's arm around Peter's back. 

_ We'll do better _

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hopefully you enjoyed! I definitely wanna write more with Peter struggling with mental illness, so expect that in the future. Would anyone be interested in a one shot going into the backstory on his freshman year breakdown that I mentioned? I do have a whole plot in mind with that. Definitely give me feedback if you want!


End file.
